It seems that bullying is on the rise and becoming rampant. We see this in schools, on the internet, in our careers, and in adult life as well. No one is exempt to it. We have all experienced bullying at some time in our lives and careers.
I see bullying as a cry for love and compassion. In particularly to the bully him or herself. A bully is defined as a blustering browbeating person; especially : one habitually cruel to others who are weaker.
I equate bullying as projection. Projection defined is the attribution of one’s own ideas, feelings, or attitudes to other people or to objects; especially : the externalization of blame, guilt, or responsibility as a defense against anxiety.
Simply stated, bullying is projecting one’s own insecurities, self-hatred, unworthiness, and reckless abandon onto someone else, so that the bully can feel better about themselves.
Sadly, the bully projects these things onto others, so he or she can feel better about themselves. It is like energetically vomiting all the things one does not like about themselves onto someone else, so that you can feel better about yourself. Of course this only a temporary relief, for those unconscious issues that the bully is feeling will continue to resurface, causing an insecurity and pressure within themselves that will need to be unloaded or energetically vomited on their next victim.
The unfortunate thing is that the recipient of the bullying or energetic vomiting, does not see this aspect of the bully, and takes on these projections from the bully as their own truth. The bully feels better temporarily, and the recipient of the bullying takes on those projections as their own.
Three things that one can do to handle bullying situations is to
1. Realize that the person who is doing the bullying is probably in mental and emotional pain. What they are bullying you about are the exact things that they themselves feel about themselves. The best way to handle a situation with a Bully is to not give your power away to them. You are in control. Stop them in their tracks. Take a deep breath, and in a calm demeanor, tell the bully that they must feel really awful about themselves. Saying this jolts the bully, and brings on a state of confusion to the bully. Then it is time to walk away.
2. Have compassion for yourself and the person doing the bullying. Bullies operate from a place of fear, insecurity, lack and if they feel they are loosing control will act out and project (energetically vomit) those insecurities onto others. Bullying is really a cry for love.
3. Set strong boundaries. No one can do anything to us unless we allow them to do so. Having strong and healthy emotional, mental, and physical boundaries are important. Remember we are in charge of how we feel, no one else can make us feel a certain way unless we allow them to.